A dedicated grief ceremony for honoring the hurt carried of neurodiverse people who've lived a lifetime in a society that's not designed to include them...
Being a neurodiverse human being is an incredible and beautiful thing.
It’s much needed at this time on Earth as we let go of the old systems
and create new ones.
But it may not always feel easy because our societies are
not set up for our way of experiencing life.
Our quest is to arrive at a place within ourselves where we can lovingly accept,
delight and celebrate who we are
and live it without apology, masking or adaptation.
Grief plays an important role in the journey to authentic self celebration
This grief is not grief that we are Neurodiverse itself, but the grief we carry from a lifetime of daily hurts (sometimes big sometimes small) from living in a society created by and run for neurotypical people.
From childhood to the present day, a thousand thousand small hurts – usually unintentional but nevertheless has a very real and extreme impact on us. We were and are often left feeling that we are a problem to be fixed and/or that we must change.
I am neurodiverse myself and have been studying for 5 years as well as being on my own profound journey with it for 8 years. Grief was the turnaround for me and an essential aspect to being able to fully delight in and authentically accept being me. Being understood at a deep level, being seen and empathised with by people who get it was THE most powerful aspect of my journey to my life radically changing for the better.
This grief ritual is a space dedicated to honouring this river of grief and to celebrating who we are. If this is you please know you are deeply welcome to join.
Celtic Keening Grief Ceremony & Gathering of the Bones
With open arms, we warmly welcome you in all your grief as a neurodiverse human, however it wants to be expressed.
We will be working with the traditions of Keening which is a practice of our deep-time ancestor across England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales.
It goes back many thousands of years and is a way to honour grief and loss that is embodied and non-judgemental. It welcomes all expressions of grief and allows space for each person to grieve in their own way. The space itself is a traditional earthen dwelling which creates a powerful, held space. Deep inside the round EarthLodge dwelling, lit by firelight and sheepskins for comfort, we will find our way into the beauty of the darkness and the treasures it holds.
I have been holding grief ceremonies for many years and have trained with Joanna Macy, Sobonfu Some and Frances Weller. Other inspirations and teaches that I seek to learn from in Martín Prechtel and Steven Levine.
These traditional keening ceremonies are held in the EarthLodge on the land here at EarthHeart. This is a natural building sitting low to the ground, made of earth and wood. There are sheepskins on the floor and firelight for vision. The ceremonies are held in virtual darkness and allow space for people to grieve in their own way.
Sometimes the ceremonies will be from the keening traditions of these lands and some will be with an alter and space to be held in the arms of the circle. There is no prescribed way to grieve, each person will be honoured in their unique way. This is not a space for political debate about what it means to be Neurodiverse. It is a space of the heart to simple give space to what wants to move.
“….There are many ways grief is felt. It is not just the sorrowful tender tears that come in those quiet moments. Grief is feral and it asks us to lay our soul bare, to strip back to the bones, to surrender control, she will not be negotiated or tamed. It can arrive as anger, fear, sadness, guilt, apathy, despair, numbness, powerlessness and hopelessness. And when we are witnessed and validated, acknowledged and held in loving empathic heart presence a level of healing occurs that is deeply and profoundly freeing……”
Stephen Jenkinson
The 6 Sacred Gates of Grief
We will be working primarily with gates 2 and 4 and perhaps 5.
There are many ways and reasons that grief enters our life. All grief is welcome in our ceremonies. Below is Frances Weller’s 6 gates of grief as described below are a potent teaching of how grief can come from any aspect of our experience of life, all gates lead to others, it’s just about which gate we are most feeling and stepping through, there we may well discover that once in the river many of the flood gates open.
GATE 1: Everything we love we will lose
This grief is the one that many of us enter grief through, when we lose a loved one, whether that be a person or a pet. It is the only grief culturely that is ‘permitted’ and then only for a short while, until we can ‘get back to normal’
GATE 2: What we expected but did not receive
Arriving into an already broken world, our soul knew we where meant to arrive into a family and wider circle of people who’s task it was to lift us up and keep us safe and help us find our unique shape in the world and bring our gifts. To not shame us in any way. To know we are of the land and from the land.
GATE 3: Sorrows of the natural world
The is about the wider field of grief for all that has and still is happening to our earth, whether that is close in our lives or something far away that is hard to connect to. We feel it anyways, but might not realise it. Some of us feel it accutely.
GATE 4: Places that have not known love
The places within us that have been exiled and unloved due to how we where raised. The parts of us that we feel shame about that do not feel loved or accepted.
GATE 5: Ancestral grief
Feeling the grief that exists within our bodies of the hurt and harm in the lines of our ancestors behind us, that the pain we feel is not only from our own lives but from the lineage of harm in cultures across the world.
GATE 6: Harm we have caused
The grief is connected to the inability to love ourselves, for the inner critic within us. Also for the regret we may feel about having hurt others, intentionally or otherwise in the course of our lives.
An online grief ceremony that was held in the EarthLodge during lock down.
The Shape of the Offering
Arrival : Friday 4-4.45pm
On Friday at dusk, in the liminal space between day and night, we will enter the ceremonial EarthLodge and gather in circle just as our deep-time ancestors did before us. We will light the fire and open the space with a ceremony of the elements, followed by chanting and prayers, calling forth our ancestors and guides. The fire and the sheepskins laid around the hearth will create a cosy and holding nest for us.
Friday evening 5-10pm
Throughout the evening, we will gently and slowly enter the landscape of tending to our grief… culminating in an ancient Celtic keening ritual designed to carry us beyond our fears of letting go into the river of our holy and beautiful grief. A space where grief can move in all the ways it needs. The Celtic keening ceremony will hold us, letting the waters flow down like a mountain stream, following the path of least resistance. This is about us holding each other in grief, allowing its collective power to deepen and free us. This part will end at around 10pm and from there we will settle down to sleep for the night, in liminal space in whatever way feels most supportive to us individually.
Saturday Dawn through to 2pm
From dawn until 2pm, we will enter a space where we can continue our grieving ceremony but in our own autonomous flow… entering into a no speaking space (sounds are always welcome) as we continue letting the waves of grief rise and fall as they do within us. In this time, you can be in nature, be on the land, walk in the forest, sit by the fire or walk by the lake. Moving between sitting in the EarthLodge, being in contemplation by the fire, or journalling about what’s moving through you. Doing what feels most supportive for you to let grief fully have its time to flow without rushing or forcing. The land and the ancient forest that surrounds EarthHeart will be here to hold us. The lake will be here to guide us.
(Please note: you are welcome to complete your journey at this point or anytime during the day if you feel complete and want to head home)
Breaking our fast, sharing a meal: Saturday 2pm
We will break our silence to gather together for hot, homemade vegan meal. This will be a time to transition from our autonomous flow into sharing food and grounding ourselves, coming back from the other side of the veil and back into life in preparation for our medicine circle.
Gathering the Bones soul circle with Jewels : Saturday 3pm
We will come together, seated around the fire in the EarthLodge, where we can share what is unfolding in our hearts after our grief journey, and to give gratitude for our life and to all life. Most importantly, we will remember to Love. Each person will have space to be seen and to be appreciated in a way that means something to them.
Completion and journeying home : Saturday 7pm
We will close our circle, ground the elements, and give thanks to our guides. You can either begin your journey home, or you are welcome to stay an extra night if you feel called to remain in this tender space. There will be an add-on in the ticketing options to stay until 9am the following morning.
A note about food and fasting
We are inviting you into the possibility of light fasting for the main section of the grief ritual. This is optional of course. Grief and the moving of deep emotions through the body is much easier when we do not have a full belly. Here is the invite: Eat a hearty meal last thing before you arrive so that from 5pm on Friday to 2pm on Saturday you are fasting. If this feels too much of a stretch you are of course very welcome to bring food with you that is simple to eat and would not disturb others who may want to fast. We suggest things like nuts and seeds, fruit fresh or dried, bread and butter, hummus, stuffed vine leaves. If not veggie: pre boiled eggs, cheese, tinned sardines etc. Please note there is no kitchen to prepare food or store in a fridge. There is a tea urn for constant hot drinks with herb teas provided.
Sleeping arrangements
There will be the option to sleep in the main indoor heated temple space with your own sleeping bag and mat or you are welcome to bring a campervan if you have one or stay in a local Airbnb. On occasion it’s possible to sleep in the Earthlodge but this will be decided on the night and this is not assumed. There are toilets and showers available for those staying on-site.
“…grief is subversive, undermining our society’s quiet agreement that we will behave and be in control of our emotions. It is an act of protest that declares our refusal to live numb and small. There is something feral about grief, something essentially outside the ordained and sanctioned behaviours of our culture. Because of that, grief is necessary to the vitality of the soul’.
Francis Weller
Jewels speaks to Interfaith Minister Reverend Helen James about her work at EarthHeart.
Logistics
Date
20-21 November 2026 (Bookings open 10 October)
Future Ceremonies
15-16 January 2027 (Bookings open 22 November)
5-6 March 2027 (Bookings open 16 January)
Timings
Arrival is from 4pm on Friday and at the latest 4.45pm. The doors will close at 4.50pm sharp and there will be strictly no entry after this point for ANY reason and no refunds.
We will complete by 7pm on Saturday.
Venue
EarthHeart Forest of Dean, GL14 3JQ.
Accessibility
The EarthLodge is a natural build dwelling low to the ground with a low entranceway that you need to bend over a little to walk through. You need to be able to sit or lay on the floor on sheepskins for 2-3 hours at a time. Please be sure this is something that you can do as unfortunately there are no adaptations possible due to the nature of the building itself. If you are concerned at all please email us asap so we can help clarify. The EarthLodge has a fire in the middle and we will be sitting in circle around it, sometimes (like a tipi) if the wind changes direction it can a little smokey for a few minutes at a time. If you have a smoke allergy please contact us to discuss wheter this space is suitable for you.
Booking policy
Please read our cancellation and booking policy before booking your place
so you are making an informed choice.
