Our intimate relationships are more important than ever, right now. Why?
Because our social circles are greatly reduced, transformed into short bursts of outdoor meetings where we cannot hold one another, or online conversations where it can be so hard to really feel one another as we look between our respective screens and camera lenses. We rely on our partners for our very normal human needs for connection, touch, affection.
I notice that the pandemic has exacerbated an idea, one which has been gathering steam in the west for years – that your partner should be all you need to be happy and fulfilled. If we aren’t mindful, the person we live with finds themself bearing the burden of being everything we once counted on our village to be. Our culture puts a huge pressure on relationships to ‘look a certain way’, requires a laundry list of each of us to be amazing lovers, co-parents, best friends, creative muses, personal trainers and the list goes on… It’s exhausting.
When we try to live up to these expectations we forget why we got into a relationship and what our intimate relationship offers us.
The gift of soul intimacy
So let’s think about that: what does our intimate relationship offer, at its essence?
Those moments with your beloved when all the business of life falls away for a moment as you look into their eyes; and in that moment you find yourself again, not even realising you had been lost. Moments of wordless, effortless, soul intimacy.
The gift of being seen, truly seen and loved just exactly as you are : without needing to “be” a million different things. The profound blessing of being loved for being you.
If we look a little closer, we remember that intimate relationship is a potent form of awakening – through it we plug back into the interconnectedness, to love itself, to the things in life that give meaning beyond the material and the slog to survive. It’s what calls us to sex. Good sex opens hearts and gives us those experiences of something so much bigger than us, of a vastness, a love so big we almost cannot handle it. But somehow, held in the eyes of our beloved, we find a way.
Our romantic partnerships hold a deep potency, and when we’re connected with their magic the absolute awe and majesty of nature, of life, of beauty and of our souls remembering. I believe we ache to bring this medicine to more people, to spread the love. I believe we want to give to each other – beyond the endless polarization of our arguments on social media – we want, so desperately, to love.
Carving a path back to our awakened, soul self
Right now on planet Earth, there’s a portal wide open to humans, a portal to Love, as we go through a collective transition to a new world. Shifting our consciousness is ever more important as we begin rebuilding the world of our longing. Moments of soul intimacy with our beloveds fuel and inform this process, infusing it with the full glory of all we can be when we drop the surface drama that divides us and come back, again and again, to love.
A way to connect
A simple way to reconnect with love is to just sit with your partner, even for a moment or two, and look into their eyes. Without words. Choose to remember the moments when you first fell for them, to relive all the giddy, head-over-heels of that time together. Choose to remember all that you adore in them. Choose to see them as they are, right now in this moment. Breathe together. Hold each other.
Sometimes simple acts are all that’s needed to plug back in to the great web of love and life that surrounds us. And we need that connection, now more than ever.